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Sore Loser

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Are you a sore loser?

I taught middle school drama. To clarify, it was the stage kind of drama. The students needed no help creating their own drama. Middle school theatre. Fun, right? Oh yeah! I had a blast. I only taught for one year, so I have quite a bit of experience. (that’s a joke). I’m a big proponent of giving students opportunities, so I tried really hard to cast as many students as possible in the spring musical. Not everyone had speaking roles, but I would find a place for everyone on stage.

For this particular production, there were three, THREE students, that auditioned for a specific role, weren’t best for that role, so were offered parts in the chorus. After a few emails and a phone call with the students and parents as to why they weren’t suited for the role, I encouraged them to participate in the chorus, still get stage time, and gain experience. Only one chose to continue with the show and learned quite a bit. The student later came back to thank me for encouraging them to keep on the course. The other two dropped the production before it even began. I’m not sure what they learned from the experience, but I know they didn’t learn anything about performing on stage. Or about the character trait of working hard even when you don’t get what you want.

I’ll admit, I was a sore loser growing up and I taught myself not to participate in activities unless I knew I would be successful. Games weren’t games because I wanted to win. So, I missed out on a lot. I saw that my friends didn’t like playing with a competitive sore loser. I had a nickname that I’d rather not share, but it starts with “take a chill pill”. As a parent, what can you do for your children? There are pressures to succeed, to win, but there are more things to learn from failure than from winning.

If you see “sore loser” syndrome in your kids, here are some helpful things you can do:

Model:  How do YOU react when you’re not successful? Your children are watching you, whether they are 3 years old or 18 years old.

Don’t intentionally let your child win:  When you’re playing board games or sports, let your child lose! Practice losing in a good way.

Practice being a good winner:  When your child does win at something, help them remember what it feels like to lose and have them show kindness and empathy to those they played with. Shake a hand, say, “thanks for playing with me!”. Have them focus on the joy of playing, regardless of who won or lost.

Posted by Phil Bettison with
in Church

Christmas Services: Not Merely for Us

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This is a unique Christmas for our family. We AREN’T traveling! Every year of our kids’ lives we have traveled on Christmas Day and, while there have been fun parts of it, I am so excited for the chance to soak in the day with our family.

A lot of our trips as a family are road trips, long car rides across the country in our minivan. It feels challenging but to think about the first Christmas puts it all into perspective. Today we travel at highway speeds with climate-controlled and comfortable seating the whole time. Mary and Joseph traveled nearly 90 miles, uphill to get to Bethlehem and Mary most likely rode on a donkey while she was nine months pregnant! But with all of the challenges leading up to Jesus’ birth everything slowed down and they could finally experience the moment they had been waiting for.

My sincere hope for you is that Christmas Eve can be sort of a reminder for you of that type of a moment. With all the hurry of this season; from Amazon Prime to late night cooking to decorating everything we all need to catch our breath and remember that first Christmas.

And I bet you know some people in your life that need that same gift this time of the year. They’ve been scrambling with busy schedules and heavy expectations but church isn’t a priority. God put them in your life for this exact moment, to invite them to an experience they’ll never forget...it could change their eternity.

Christmas Eve services are not merely for us.  The power and hope of Jesus is for everyone and it can change anything in your life and the lives of those around you.

Looking forward to meeting many of your friends and family this Christmas season.

Grace and peace this season,

Pastor Phil

Posted by Phil EuBank with

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